your parents love me but you hate me
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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