He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
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So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The air taste purple.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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