I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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