You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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