clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i think i have two assholes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i drank out of a bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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