oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize