That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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