My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I love you. Go after that dick
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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