we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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