My room smells like vodka and shame
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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