I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize