I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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