yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
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We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
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Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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