I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize