I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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