In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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