and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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