dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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