i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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