my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
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After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize