she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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