so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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