Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.

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(817): My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room. http://tfl.nu/adc5

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(908): View more from New Jersey

do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

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(908): do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card? http://tfl.nu/jvvm

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(973): View more from New Jersey

this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?

(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars

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(973): this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg (1-973): gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something? (973): yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars http://tfl.nu/7tyz

Replies (18) Good night (1398) Bad night (5542)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.

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(204): He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina. http://tfl.nu/1ygc

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign

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(856): I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign http://tfl.nu/u6cw

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(801): View more from Utah

He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".

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(801): He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied". http://tfl.nu/4up3

Replies (12) Good night (1923) Bad night (3739) Order T-Shirt
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(812): View more from Indiana

After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.

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(812): After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women. http://tfl.nu/7qhk

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(404): View more from Georgia

I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.

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(404): I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck. http://tfl.nu/f2m7

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(708): View more from Illinois

Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.

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(708): Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity. http://tfl.nu/m9p5

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(586): View more from Michigan

Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"

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(586): Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate" http://tfl.nu/hjnw

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(706): View more from Georgia

we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.

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(706): we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk. http://tfl.nu/l985

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(661): View more from California

We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.

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(661): We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila. http://tfl.nu/fos5

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent

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(636): Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent http://tfl.nu/1tsa

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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(870): Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth (1-870): I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come http://tfl.nu/shj4

Replies (5) Good night (1671) Bad night (493)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.

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(704): At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you. http://tfl.nu/lr4p

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