apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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