we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize