all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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