i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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