a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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