i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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