ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize