When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize