It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize