I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize