Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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