he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
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I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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