I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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