I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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