my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize