I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize