she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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