is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
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I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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