They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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