I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize