he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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