Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize