This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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