These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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