I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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