Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
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