just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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